Welcome to the Most Entertaining Shopping Experience You Might Forget

Let’s face it: shopping for premium cannabis products can be an adventure, especially when you’re trying to remember if you came in through the north or south entrance. At New Standard Hazel Park, we’ve seen it all, and we’re here to guide you through the experience with a smile.

The Art of Looking Like You Know What You’re Doing

We’ve all been there – standing in front of an impressive display case trying to look sophisticated while internally wondering if you’re pronouncing “terpenes” correctly. Pro tip: nobody actually knows if it’s “ter-peens” or “ter-pen-knees,” and at this point, we’re too afraid to ask.

Common Customer Scenarios We Love

1. The “I’m Just Here to Browse” Browser
– Translation: “I have no idea what I’m looking for, please help.”
– Usually involves intense squinting at product labels
– May attempt to nod knowingly while reading THC percentages

2. The Product Encyclopedia
– Has read every cannabis blog since 2010
– Can pronounce “myrcene” without stuttering
– Still gets excited about new strains like a kid in a candy store

3. The First-Timer
– Wide-eyed and slightly nervous
– Whispers everything, even their name
– Leaves feeling like they’ve joined a secret society

Shopping Tips We Probably Shouldn’t Share But Will Anyway

* Don’t try to impress us with fancy cannabis terminology if you’re not sure what it means. We once had someone ask for “that purple stuff that makes you feel like you’re floating in space,” and honestly, that description was perfect.

* Yes, it’s totally normal to forget what you came in for the moment you walk through the door. We have notepads for a reason.

* If you find yourself having an extensive conversation with our store plant, you might want to wait a bit before making your next purchase.

At New Standard Hazel Park, we pride ourselves on creating a welcoming environment where you can feel comfortable whether you’re a cannabis connoisseur or someone who just learned that CBD isn’t a new boy band. Our knowledgeable staff is here to guide you through our selection of premium products, even if you have to ask the same question three times because you keep getting distracted by our cool interior design.

Remember, the only silly question is the one you forget to ask – which, let’s be honest, happens to the best of us.